Blog

Invisible illnesses can be difficult to identify in yourself and in others. I have had first hand experience of being a sufferer of an invisible illness in 2007. I was diagnosed with a moderate stage of severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  2007 was the year that changed my life for the better and I am a much stronger, grateful and mindful person for it. It is however, much easier to say this now, almost 11 years later and to see the positive changes that eventually came from the horrific accident I experienced on 22 July. At the time and after the accident for almost two years, it didn’t feel like it was a positive pivotal life changing experience. In fact, I often wished that the ground would just swallow me whole. I was broken, scared, and felt alone.

On 22 July, after a fabulous girls holiday, my sister, friend and I decided to go to a nightclub to celebrate a friend's birthday. My sister and I were due to fly to Jamaica the next day with our mum, brother and other friends. The nightclub was in Leeds and we were in my hometown of Huddersfield, and so we jumped in my friend's car and made our way to Leeds. There had been lots of heavy rain during the few weeks prior and the ground was very wet and saturated. Following the poor weather, a bend in the motorway and I'm sure many other variables, my friend lost control of the car and we headed into the hard shoulder of the motorway at a fast speed, rolling in the car 5 times over.

My sister had been thrown out of the car nearly 100 yards down the motorway from where the car crashed and eventually stopped rolling. My friend went through the front window when the car was turning and it pinned her. Both of their physical injuries were extensive. My sister broke her pelvis in three places, her wrist and shoulder on the same arm and had a large and deep gash in her other arm which she needed surgery to close. My friend’s lung collapsed, she fractured her spine and broke a few ribs. My sister was unconscious on the side of the road and my friend, screamed, shouting my name for a long time. My friend was critical for the first 24 hours.

I am ecstatic, relieved, thankful and many more emotions that they both survived and are well and thriving in life. Both are also now mummies to wonderful children.

Now my physical injuries were minor compared to my sister and friend. I had a deep cut on my forehead my left arm had lots of cuts from the glass. I was the last one to go to the hospital and the first one to be discharged the next day. I am very lucky and have a far greater appreciation for a seatbelt than I did before the accident. All my family were surprised by my resiliency and focussed on my sister (rightly so). At first, the affects of the accident appeared through the obvious whiplash and a fear of getting in cars, literally anyone's car other than my parents' cars. However about 12 months later, I started with very bad dreams of my loved ones dying and flashbacks of the accident. I woke up every morning for almost 4 months with my body in shock and no control over my legs at all. It would take me a very long time each morning to find movement in my legs to get out of bed and start the day. I became withdrawn, began to suffer from migraines, I put on a lot of weight, broke up with a long term partner, found a new boyfriend who really wasn’t right for me, fell pregnant and had a miscarriage, I ignored a lot of my friends and barely told my family how I was feeling who were all in Huddersfield and I was in London. I spiralled, all whilst trying to have a normal life as a newly graduated law student, keen to find a training contract and qualify as a lawyer. I was a mess.

It eventually became too much for me, my mind was destroying all aspects of my life and I really didn’t know what to do. One very random day, I had a brief moment of clarity within the mental fog, which reminded me of what I wanted out of life and how I used to dream big of what the future might look like. In that moment, I decided to get help. I met with a cognitive behavioural therapist and my treatment lasted for about 2 years.

I honestly think once you are a sufferer of an invisible illness, it will never truly leave you, but the skills you learn during your rehabilitation really prepare you to spot the signs early and make adjustments that serve you well. I often describe it as a 'slippery slope' and when you are sliding down that slope, you have time to catch yourself so you don’t continue to slip. I still have the occasional dream, but I understand what it means now and I try and face those feelings and work through them. I'm still not comfortable in cars and if I am in a car with a driver who is driving too quickly, I make no apologies for my feelings and I ask that them slow down. If they don’t, I get out of the car. My health and safety is the priority, not the destination I am on my way to with the speedy driver.

I learnt many lessons from the accident and my rehabilitation, and I would like to share some with you.

You are an emotional being, accept it and face the feeling
Our emotions are not always in check with the logical part of our brains and we often talk ourselves into ignoring the feeling that something is not right or the lull in your stomach. Avoiding this feeling doesn’t make it go away. In fact, it means it stays for longer and in some cases, grows, and becomes a bigger problem.
 
Exorcise the darkness
If you don’t want to face the feeling on your own, talk to someone. If you don’t want to talk to someone, write it down. Whatever you do, exorcise that feeling out of you and try to make sense of it. I honestly don’t think I would be where I am in my life, if I didn’t have the professional help at the time when I needed it the most.
 
Try to control the overspill
It is very easy, when you suffer from an invisible illness (depending on the illness) to allow it to feed through to every part of your life. It is even easier to take the passenger position in your life when this illness strikes. Try not to place blame elsewhere, particularly with your loved ones. Focus on you and your future. Dream of what your future will be like. You have a lot more power, to write your story from here on out, than you think.
 
Pay attention to the slippery slope
If you are out of the worst part of your invisible illness, I am sending a huge hug and congratulations to you! So that you limit the chance of you feeling this way again, always check in with yourself and work through emotions or darker feelings if they arise.
 
I fully acknowledge that one size does not fit all, and you may suffer from an invisible illness that is far more severe and life altering than what I have experienced. My suggestions are not in any way aimed at simplifying your experiences and I encourage everyone to seek the professional medical help they need. I hope that just by sharing my experiences, I can help brighten the light at the end of the tunnel for some of you. 
 
You've got this! 

Charlene Brown | Founder of Honest Voice

@charlenelbrown

 

There is no denying that the experiences we have in life and work can be a huge a contributor to us feeling stressed and anxious. It is completely normal to have these feelings. 

If you are feeling consistently down and are struggling to cope with these feelings however, you should visit your doctor or talk it through with a professional like a counsellor or therapist. 

With that said there are many ways in which you can manage some levels of stress yourself and here are a few that you may find useful. At Honest Voice we are not licenced medical professionals. We are like you, we all have jobs and we pursue a better version of today, for tomorrow. We get stressed at times and we suffer from our own version of life pressures. More importantly however, we want to help where we can, so here are some of our suggestions. 

Root Cause

It is always a good idea to try and take some time to understand the root cause of your stress so that you can judge which techniques will work best for you. No one knows you, like you, so take the time to figure it out and decide whether something can be done. There can be more than one contributing factor to you feeling stressed. For example, in the past my stress has been based on a combination of events and circumstances all at once such as, lack of sleep, dehydration, urgent deadline and someone I love also being stressed and me trying to help them. Allowing yourself to have time to breathe and think, will help you process your stress rationally and put things into perspective. 

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is basically a way to meditate by concentrating on your breathing to ensure that you are present and focussed on the ‘here and now.’ Too often we are distracted by our thoughts, plans, technology and anxiety to appreciate ‘the moment’ just absorbing our current state and becoming aware of ourselves.

Mindfulness helps to focus our energy and clear our mind of the worries and stresses caused by thoughts of the past and future. The practice of mindfulness has become much more popular in Western culture in recent years and there are lots of books, apps and online resources that can help guide you through how to make the best use of mindfulness.

Try Meditation

Try downloading an app on your smart phone or looking up meditation on line. There’s a whole world of people out there waiting to help you focus your mind on deep breathing and soothing away your worries and stress. Alternatively you could attend a meditation class or look it up on YouTube.

Exercise

Whether you like to hit the gym or enjoy a leisurely stroll, exercise helps to release endorphins and make us feel better. Often stress takes its toll on our body as well as our mind so find something physical you can do to combat stress and release some frustration. Sometimes physical activity is the last thing we feel like doing when we are stressed but the distraction and movement can often help us de-stress and unwind or even process what is happening and gain some clarity.

Exercise doesn’t have to be expensive. YouTube has lots of free videos you can access to work out at home. Check out HIIT (high intensity interval training) and see if its for you. HIIT training raises your heart rate and helps you to get in to a positive, motivated mindset in a short space of time

Talk it through/seek advice

If you have a trusted friend or family member, talk to them about your stress or concerns and see if it helps working through any issues you have out loud. Often supportive loved ones can offer valuable insights and advice that can alleviate stress and make us feel much better after a conversation. If you don’t have anyone close you can talk to you could consider counselling services or charities that you can speak to if things are bothering you. If you are employed, perhaps there is someone at work who can help. Alternatively, write it down. A lot of people find comfort expelling theirfrustration and stress on to paper. It can be very cathartic. 

Be nice to yourself

Stop beating yourself up! We can be very critical of ourselves, often unfairly. While it is important to explore the reasons for stress, that doesn’t mean blaming yourself for all your problems. Treat yourself to a nice bath or your favourite food or indulge in something that you know will make you feel better. Perhaps time with friends or watching a film lifts your spirits. Even if you feel really busy, make time for personal time and treating yourself like number one! You deserve it.

Eat a healthy diet

You have heard it before but ‘you are what you eat’. Whilst junk food may feel like a ‘treat’ actually your body, energy and stress levels will benefit much more from eating a healthy and balanced diet incorporating lots of fruit and veg. According the www.bbcgoodfood.com  the top ten foods that guarantee to make you feel fantastic are: 

• Blueberries 
• Carrots 
• Lettuce and salad greens 
• Beetroot 
• Brazil nuts 
• Grapefruit 
• Garlic
• Cranberries 
• Ginger 

So perhaps you can get creative with your food and try adding good foods in to your diet. Do some research and gather some recipes to help you introduce more nutritious and beneficial foods to your mealtimes and snacks.

Make a plan

Sometimes the very thing causing us stress is not having a plan. We can make a problem really big if we don’t have a plan of action in place to sort it out. If something is bothering you or you feel as though you have too much on your plate it is time to get organised. Plan how you will tackle your problem or the volume of things you have to do. Be SMART about it and work out some goals and make sure that you are specific and realistic about timescales, and how you will know whether you have achieved the goal. This will help you feel more prepared and in control but you will also know what you have to do and feel a sense of achievement when you complete each step of your plan. Don’t forget to treat yourself when you achieve key milestones. 

Take a break from technology

Often we can become overwhelmed by our exposure to technology. Our phones never get switched off, social media never sleeps and we are constantly being interrupted by technology in a variety of ways. Whether it is our smart phone, the TV, the internet or our work phones, we can be accessed and influenced by technology and it can be a bit full on! Sometimes technology adds to our stress and a break from all technology can do wonders for our wellbeing, even if it is just for a short period of time. Try it and see if you feel more relaxed!

To summarise...

Overall try to think positively about your life and situation. There is rarely a stressor that cannot be dealt with in some way. Lean on your support system, access resources and prioritise your own health and wellbeing. Remember the laws of attraction. If you think positively and put out positive thoughts you might find that your outlook is less stressed and more manageable.

Katherine Noble
@HonestVoiceUK

The initial stage of applying for most jobs is likely to be a written application, normally in the format of an application form or cover letter. As daunting as these may first appear, they are nothing to be afraid of. If done right, they can be a great opportunity to put across all of your skills to an employer or recruiter and make a good first impression. So we have put together some application top tips to help you master your applications!

Being organised when it comes to applications is the first step to success, so the first piece of advice is know your deadlines!

When applying for jobs on a large scale, such as apprenticeship or graduate schemes, it’s helpful to have a calendar so that you can note down all of the deadlines and visually see them. It has certainly helped the Honest Team to stop deadlines creeping up on us!

Knowing your deadlines will ensure that you give yourself enough time to put together a strong application. Until you’ve completed a few applications, it can be difficult to know just how much time it can take to pen the best application, but you will see much more success if you have enough time to tailor your CV to the specific role and proof read your work. It is also important to allow some extra time in case anything goes wrong. This is particularly true for online applications. Don’t let last minute IT nightmares ruin your chances of securing that job!

Many applications now have a number of competency questions which will require you to give examples of skills you have used or how you have managed a particular situation. It’s important not to rush these questions so that you can ensure your response is relevant to the role.

This leads on to our next tip and certainly one that has helped during my active job hunts: Completing applications in a Word document. And what I mean by this is drafting your responses in a Word document rather than directly into the online form. Not only will this allow you to take your time and ensure your response is on point, but it also means that once you have nailed your answers, you can spell check your work and then save the document for future use. It’s very likely that you will be asked the same question on a number of applications and this will save you some time along the way.

When leaving school, not everyone has work experience but remember that this includes both paid and unpaid experience, and it does not have to be connected to the role you are applying for. All you have to do is show how your experience may help you, in the role you are applying for. For example, if you are on the football or netball team, you can demonstrate qualities of team work, leadership and a winning mindset. And if you don’t have any work experience, take the opportunity to find some. It doesn’t have to be a part-time job throughout school, it can be a Saturday here and there, or a few days from your holidays.

Top hacks:

1. Always read the job description - the employer will be looking for key words which are usually included in the description. Look for how they describe the qualities they require and use them in your application.
2. Know the company - do a little bit of research, there’s bound to be a question about why you want to work for this company so show you have a reason.
3. Keep your response to the point- you probably won’t have a high word count so get your point across as briefly as possible without losing out on the detail you might need.
4. Be aware of US English language – if you plan to use the Word document, be aware of American words, and avoid them as often as you can. For example ‘organized’ or ‘center’ these words won’t always be picked up by spellcheck so be sure to check yourself.
5. Talk about your hobbies and interests – if you see this question come up, don’t be afraid of what it means. It’s an opportunity to be yourself and that’s what the employer wants. It’s hard to get to know someone through a form but you can show your personality here so please always write something genuine and true to you.

Whilst it is important to make sure that the content of your application is relevant, it is also important to think about the tone of your application – how it sounds. Your application will help the employer to develop their first impression of you as a candidate, so make sure that your application is as friendly and professional as you would be in person.

The structure of your application can be equally as important. Try to make sure that your application or cover letter is structured in a way that makes sense and is easy to read. A good structure will make it easier for employers to focus on why you will be the best person for the job. If there is a word count, stick to it!

Finally, read through your application before you push that ‘submit’ button. Spelling and grammar are easy to forget when you are busy trying to squeeze in all of your best attributes, but mistakes in spelling and grammar can easily cost you the job as they can show a lack of attention to detail. Make sure to run a spell check on your application before you click submit. If possible, print out a copy to read through; this can sometimes help you to spot mistakes that you may have missed on screen. And don’t be afraid to ask someone to read it through for you, ask a friend or anyone that is supporting you.

Now it’s up to you, best of luck with that winning application. You’ve got this!

Jasmine Shell
@HonestVoiceUK

It’s International Women’s Day, a day of recognition and celebration for all women globally. To contribute to this day, the Honest Voice way, we decided to share some of our biggest female influencers.

Fiona Brown is our founder – Charlene’s biggest inspiration. Fiona is Charlene’s mum. Fiona went back to education after having three kids. Charlene remembers her mum always being on the go, working, studying, helping family and being a “super-mum”. Charlene told me that the Brown siblings were very active kids, always participating in extra circular projects and groups; Fiona never missed a swimming lesson, a gymnastics class, a drama class or a football match (without a car and a bus schedule of every 25 minutes). Charlene watched her mum transform her life and the life of her children, from being an assistant in a local pharmacy in Yorkshire, to running a successful business as an Independent Financial Adviser today.  To Charlene, her mum is the epitome of strength and perseverance. Charlene told me that she would be proud if she could be half the mother that Fiona has been to the Brown siblings and manage a successful career.

Dominique’s inspiration is Sophia Yvonne Ashley Young, a retired Vincentian/American professional women's basketball player with the San Antonio Stars in the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA). She had a successful career as a basketball player in the USA before retiring and inspiring young people is the next phase of her career.

Through the Roy Maas Youth Alternatives charity, Sophia is supporting young people to create a vision for a better life and make it a reality.

Sophia had a focus and eye for opportunity from a young age and in a small country, opportunities of any kind were not a regular occurrence. Sophia identified, focused and strengthened her craft to achieve something greater than herself. Her hunger for basketball led her to her scholarship in Louisiana.

Dominique’s shared connection with Sophia is their St Vincent roots. Dominique is an advocate of the future progression and success of Vincentian talent, and she is proud that Sophia Young is an International Women's Day icon.

For Himal, Alicia Keys is one of the most empowering female celebrities out there. Every time he hears her speak or listens to one of her songs, he feels inspired. 

Not only is she incredibly talented, warm and oozes positive vibes, she represents authenticity. 

In 2016, she made a decision to stop wearing make-up as part of a journey to empowering herself. In a letter on Lenny, she wrote that she was tired of being judged on her appearance. 

After addressing her insecurities and somewhat reluctantly agreeing to do a no make-up, barefaced photo shoot for her new album, she said the results left her feeling “the strongest, most empowered, most free and most honestly beautiful that I have ever felt”.

“I don't want to cover up anymore. Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.” She concluded. 

The message she is trying to promote is not that women shouldn’t wear make-up, but more that we should all feel comfortable doing whatever makes us feel strong, empowered and true to ourselves. And that is why Alicia Keys is one of the most inspiring females.

I personally have always been a fan of the Harry Potter books but after hearing JK Rowling’s personal story, I was truly inspired.

JK Rowling has struggled with domestic abuse, clinical depression and single motherhood, and her original Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by all twelve of the publishing houses it was sent to in 1995. The Dementors in her books represent the severe depression she experienced, and it is her willingness and openness to discuss mental health, and her perseverance in the face of failure that drives me to want to be a better person.

Growing up reading Harry Potter, I believe that her stories teach us that it does not matter what and where we are born but rather who we choose to grow to become; that love and friendship can overcome even the most powerful darkness; and that living and failure go hand in hand.

After all, “it’s important to remember we all have magic inside us.”

The most inspirational woman to Joel is Malala Yousafzai.

Malala was always an ambitious individual with a hunger to learn. Despite growing up in a remote part of Pakistan, she was fluent in English by the time she turned eleven. It was a tough environment to grow up in as a young female, with education viewed as a privilege reserved only for their male counterparts. This only became worse with the rise of the Taliban, and despite threats to her and her family’s life, Malala continued to attend school and even began writing a blog, describing the struggles she was experiencing and campaigned for women’s rights to education. Over the years Malala’s blog gained traction and she eventually gained the attention of The New York Times who commissioned a documentary on the destruction of girls’ education by the Taliban.

As Malala’s following grew, she attracted attention and on 9 October 2012, the Taliban stormed her school bus and shot Malala several times, including in the head and neck.

Despite all of this opposition and tragedy, Malala never stopped campaigning, nothing could stand in her way. Soon after the shooting she moved to Birmingham and had to start a whole new life in a foreign country. Still she campaigns and has since used her fame to launch a fund that changes lives all over the world.

Education is something that the vast majority of us take for granted. Don’t waste the opportunity. There is so much out there for you.

Sophie is  inspired by those around her, her friends and her peers every day. The women in Sophie’s life are strong, vulnerable, and stay true to themselves and live their best lives. Sophie knows some amazing women who have been brave, have followed their passions, who have overcome challenges and faced hardship, and are amazingly dedicated to what they do. They inspire her to try her best and to be courageous and for that, she is grateful.

We want to know who inspires YOU. Let us know on social media and don’t forget to tag us.

Facebook: @HonestVoiceUK

Instagram: @honestvoiceuk_

LinkedIn: Honest Voice

Twitter: @HonestVoiceUK

Join the conversation #IWD2018 #PressforProgress

International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.

Jasmine Shell

It’s an exciting time for you. Your future is just ahead and it is your time to decide what happens next. One of your decisions may involve whether you go to university or does some other career route interest you more, like an apprenticeship.  We totally understand that sometimes making a decision about your future can be scary and you may also feel at times that it is hard to talk to someone who understands exactly where you are coming from. Well do not worry, because we have your back and we get it!

So we pulled together some of the benefits of being a graduate and an apprentice, added some hard facts and compared the options for you.

Qualifications

After completing your undergraduate degree, you will typically receive a Bachelor’s degree, which is widely recognised across industries and classified as a level six qualification. The specific title of your degree will be dependent on the subject that you study, for example, Bachelor of Arts (BA), Science (BSc), Law (LLB), and Engineering (BEng). Courses can range in time length but most commonly will last three or four years if full-time. You can also complete an undergraduate degree part-time, allowing you to work alongside studying but this will increase the number of years required to achieve the qualification. Depending on the course you choose, it can be a challenge managing both work and study. If you are thinking about part-time as an option, we have some top tips for time management when you need it. Be aware that the choice of university can play a role in what job or graduate scheme you may obtain in the future. Do your research and always aim for the best option for you and your career. See our Careers Starter Pack for insights and tips.

The qualifications achieved by completing an apprenticeship are often professional qualifications and specific to a given industry. You will earn your qualification whilst working, meaning that you gain work experience at the same time as studying. Obtaining work experience is vital to the development of your career, so an apprenticeship offers you a head start. Apprentices develop technical skills and knowledge as well as practical and soft skills, and build a professional network at the same time. If you already have an idea of the kind of roles and industries you’d like to work in, then an apprenticeship can be a great first step for your career.

If getting a degree is important to you, you should know that that going university is not your only option. An apprenticeship and degree can go together seamlessly (degree apprenticeship) to provide with both technical and academic qualifications. Whilst this option is growing in popularity, only around 10% of 2016/2017 apprenticeships were at the degree level.

Cost

University can be expensive and it is estimated that a typical university student, completing a three-year course can expect to graduate with between £35,000 - £40,000 worth of student debt. It is important to note that you won’t begin to pay back your student loan until you are earning more than £21,000, which may even rise to £25,000 soon. You will also incur interest on your student loan and this amount is added to your total every month. The amount of this is dependent on your personal circumstance and inflation but historically has been around 6%. The salary you can earn in your first job after university can vary depending on the role and industry you choose. So our top tip is to research the roles you are interested in. We can help you there too.

Apprenticeships are funded by employers so you will receive a salary for a full-time position at no cost to you personally, other than your good work ethic and willingness to learn. The starting salary varies depending on industry, location and company size but a BIS research paper on apprentice pay (2014) showed that the average wage per week for a full-time apprentice was £257, which is around £13,000 per annum. With some companies and industries offering salaries above £20,000, they can compete with formal graduate schemes, where salaries can start as low as £15,000 and go up to £40,000. For 2018, graduate-jobs.com estimates the average starting salary for graduates is £19,000 - £22,000.

Work experience

Some would say that going to university gives you far more life experience than work experience. You do have the option to complete placements years or apply for internships during your term breaks and although this is not essential, graduates with such experience do tend to find roles quicker than those who only have part-time work experience to support their time studying such as retail roles.

An apprenticeship offers you the opportunity to gain full-time work experience straight out of school. With schemes often lasting 12-24 months, it can give you the fantastic opportunity to become a valuable asset to any team to find yourself a permanent position and develop the essential skills for a successful career in your field of choice. It also allows you to start building a professional network.

Personal development

Going to university can be the ultimate independence experience, giving you the opportunity to develop new interests, make new friends and for some, learn to use a washing machine (if you don’t already know how!). It is also a good way to build a wide range of skills and knowledge such as analytical, research and presentations skills, whilst still trying to figure out your best career move. Not everyone knows what they want to do straight away and that’s ok. University can help you figure that out.

Going straight from school to work can give you a huge advantage when it comes to building a routine, many graduates struggle leaving university and getting into a structured 9-5 day. Afternoon naps are unfortunately no longer an option. Being an apprentice also gives you the opportunity to build on your skills and apply your learning on a day-to-day basis, rather than waiting a few years to get into a working environment.

Career development

Ultimately, career development between a graduate and an apprentice can be very similar. Job roles, career paths and salaries are all close in nature after five years post school education. Arguably, the main difference between them is the debt and how quickly you start to build your experience in the workplace. Either way, whichever path you choose, the defining factor is what you want out of your career and the hard work that you are willing to put in.

Remember: it’s your choice and what you decide for you career, and your future matters.

Jasmine Shell
@HonestVoiceUK