What is bullying?
Bullying.
It still exists and it’s affecting more and more lives. Even to this day, I’m still shocked when I read about incidents of bullying, the different forms it can take and where it can happen. It’s time we took a stand and it is critical that we all recognise and understand what bullying is, in all forms.
Although there is no universal definition, it is important to understand that the term bullying is subjective and extremely broad in its meaning. Bullying is typically defined as unwanted conduct or repeated behaviour that makes people feel hurt, humiliated, embarrassed or belittled. It can be emotional and physical. For everyone connected to an incident of bullying there is always a real or perceived imbalance of power.
Bullying isn’t always intentional or clear cut. Sometimes we could be bullying someone without even realising it; as well as taking steps to stop bullies in their tracks, it’s equally important that we all take the time to reflect and educate ourselves and ensure we aren’t treading the lines of bullying ourselves.
Examples of Bullying
Bullying is generally grouped into four categories; physical, verbal, social and cyber.
Name calling, office banter taken too far, teasing and pranks can be identified as forms of bullying. Your intentions often don’t matter. What matters is how your remarks or behaviour is received, and the experience it places on the person receiving it.
Extreme cases of bullying range from spreading rumours and intentionally getting others to exclude someone from a group to homophobic or racist remarks. In the most serious cases bullying can be life threatening.
Where can it happen?
It can happen ANYWHERE. Gone are the days where bullying was something that just happened in the school playground; it can happen in the workplace and within friendship groups and social circles. It affects both children and adults alike.
Bullying can also happen in your own home or within a relationship. Statistics show that children can be bullied before they even begin school. Bullying can also happen in relationships, where one partner exerts dominance over the other, makes them feel small and manipulates them.
It’s worth noting that bullying is also no longer just a face-to-face act either. With the advent of social media, cyber bullying has become an increasing problem in society, with bullies using technology to send abusive texts, spread hurtful images, videos or spread rumours. The presence of technology has also brought about the rise of the trolls. People or bots that scour the Internet and social media platforms to make mean and hurtful remarks to people.
Less Obvious Examples of Bullying
Banter: Let’s talk about “banter” for example. We all love a bit of banter now and then, but there comes a point when the excuse of “it’s just a bit of banter” doesn’t cut it anymore, particularly when derogatory comments are repeated to the same person and they feel uncomfortable or upset. That is bullying.
While it may seem a joke initially, the person that is the subject of the banter can often feel helpless; even if they wanted to or did speak up, they could be accused of not being able to “take a joke” and can be made to feel bad about standing up for themselves.
Peer Pressure: Another form of bullying that is also often overlooked is manipulation and peer pressure; repeatedly calling someone out for being a certain way and then using this to get them to do something. For example, a group of friends repeatedly picking on one member for being “boring” or “frigid” or acting like the opposite sex. This behaviour can instil a sense of insecurity and pressure them to change who they are. That is bullying.
These simple, everyday actions can inflict a lifetime of problems and pain, both for those being bullied and the bullies themselves. So why are we allowing bullying to get the better of us?
Together We Can
Unlike many other epidemics, we already collectively have the power to eradicate bullying. The Anti-Bullying Alliance and many other organisations are already doing a great job in raising awareness of bullying through Anti-Bullying Week and other campaigns, but we all have to be the change and lead by example. This is the only way we can succeed in stamping out bullying once and for all.
I acknowledge that my blog does not provide solutions to bullying. It was not intended to be that form of blog. Instead, I wanted to educate you as readers in understanding that situations we often overlook as banter and fun can be experienced and perceived as bullying. The Honest Voice team will be sharing more material in the week that helps you with the solutions to bullying.
Honest Voice is an avid supporter of Anti-Bullying Week and this year’s theme of ‘All Different, All Equal’ is something that we value at the core of our organisation.
Over the next week, keep your eyes peeled on www.honestvoice.co.uk and on our social media channels as we continue to share our views and raise awareness on bullying and celebrate difference and equality.
@himalpatel
